So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
