have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
