He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
