I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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