I must be too annoying 4 u.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
