ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
