On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
