is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
