the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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