Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
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