This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
