i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Randomize
