Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
