"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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