Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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