my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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