"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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