Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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