I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
