We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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