I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
