I bet he comes in French.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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