You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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