i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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