I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I did not marry a roomba.
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