well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
