I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
