problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
