Even the bartender felt bad for me
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
