I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
