I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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