operation harelip BJ is a go
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
