It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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