What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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