I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
