Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
