i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
