Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You are a genius and a whore.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
