is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
