and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Also, beer. Big fan.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
