How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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