After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize