He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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