Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Couch. On fire.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
