apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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