I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
