So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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