When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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