The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I'm always down for nudity.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
