Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
