Sponge bath it is.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize