I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize