porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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