KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
