My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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