I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Randomize
