Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
