i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
