Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize
