She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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