he puts the penis in happiness.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
