I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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