shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
